College is hard

College is hard. There are so many changes.

1. You move out of state or in state to a college. Most students stay in the dorms freshman year but some stay at home. I'm staying in the dorms and it makes college another level of difficult. People who live at home or near their home still get to see their family. There is still that attachment to home and life. When you move into the dorms especially for out of state students like myself, it's lonely. I FaceTime my parents and text my brother but the transition hits even harder. All of a sudden I'm on my own. I can make my own choices and there's so many things in this world to grasp that I can't even comprehend. That sentence might not have made sense but that's where I'm at right now.

2. You might not have a good relationship with your roommate. People talk about solving conflicts with their roommates but what if they're never solved. What if you're constantly living in a state where you don't have a relationship with each other or you don't like each other? That's what's happening to me. Things like this happen and you can choose to move out or stay and deal with it. As of right now I'm staying. But it's rough. Trying to have peace in a room with someone who hates you. Whether you deserve it or not. In my case, not. You can't have a relationship with someone who wants to be strangers.

So, so far I'm in an entirely new state, with a bad roommate situation.

3. Friends. Ah, yes the F word. I've never in my life been good at making friends. I have friends, but it takes a while to get them. I have friends back home and I met 1 new friend at my college that I consistently talk to and a couple of acquaintances. Other than that, I'm alone. I'm used to being alone with myself but of course everyone desires a community of people around them. Trying to make friends with people in your hall is difficult when they're friends with your roommate who doesn't like you. So the friend area needs some work, but that's normal in college. Most people you see clicked up are people who already knew each other or people in clubs.

4. School work, notes, classes. College classes are rough but going to an academic counselor to get help with studying will help tremendously. When I started this semester, I was putting all of this time and effort into studying for my classes, but, I wasn't seeing the results I wanted. Developing studying techniques is something I'm working on this first semester of college. I'm proud of myself as long as I know I'm putting all of my effort into my work. I like creating mind maps with my work. Something that was difficult for me was studying for tests multiple weeks before. I HATED it. It was sooooo hard to do. But eventually, I got used to the idea and skimming notes before or/and after class is now turning to studying. It's a process to get new methods through your head.

5. Two words: Mental Health. I've been in denial about getting help with my mental health. Idk about you guys but everything above has been making my depression and anxiety worse. Luckily, there's a health center on campus. I'm planning on going before Christmas break.

At the end of the day, college is a new experience for everybody. People take it in different ways. Don't force yourself to fit into different environments where you don't belong, it's not healthy. You'll find your place on campus eventually. Along with me, someone who feels a little lost on campus since I haven't found my niche. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my kind of run on sentences. I'm too tired to edit so if there's any grammar issues my bad. Goodbye, if you need any advice feel free to contact me. :)